July 2011
2 posts
I wish....
I would just go completely numb already…. I am so tired of hurting…. feeling.
Bedtime seems to be the time when all of my worries and unhappy memories and thoughts want to come out to play.
June 2011
8 posts
“You see the smile that’s on my mouth
It’s hiding the words that...”
– The Story, Brandi Carlile
Yesterday was rough, an in my attempts to be better, I skipped a concert tonight to go to group. Very ashamed of last night…. Got semi-bad news yesterday and worried about my boyfriend, so gave in and binged and purged…. A lot. Tonight, after a hard group, treating myself to white wine and roasted chicken.
Bold what applies to you. →
* I am a male. * I am a girl. * I am shorter than 5’4. * I think I’m ugly. * I have many scars. * I tan easily. * I wish my hair was a different color.
* I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color. * I have a tattoo. * I am self-conscious about my appearance. * I have/I’ve had braces. * I wear glasses. * I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and...
Wishing he was here to snuggle me tonight, and well all the time.
“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.”
– J.K. Rowling (via kari-shma)
My life....
Has slowly been melting away over the past year. Now it seems that all I have left is this big, messy puddle.
May 2011
25 posts
“What about you? Are you happiest and saddest right now that you’ve ever been?”...”
– Nicole Krauss, The History of Love (via pensare)
“Sometimes we need all the glue we can get, just to hold ourselves together.”
– Cecelia Ahern; Thanks for the Memories (via happybutt)
One of the hardest things to do in the world is...
“That secret was a hole in the middle of me that every happy thing fell into.”
– Jonathan Safran Foer (via anditslove)
“I think one’s feelings waste themselves in words; they ought all to be distilled...”
– Florence Nightingale (via quote-book)
“I wish I could live underwater. Maybe then my skin would absorb the sea’s...”
– Cristina Garcia, Dreaming in Cuban (via thoughtsdetained)
“Silence is so freaking loud.”
– Sarah Dessen (Just Listen)
I am having a lot of trouble keeping it together today. I am sitting here at my desk trying to stop myself from crying. And not just crying, but that really ugly, uncontrollable crying. It is really hard to put things behind you when mistakes from the past keep resurfacing to further prevent you from moving on. I am just so tired, and I am afraid I am going to end up so very alone. You can go...
“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to...”
– Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)
Group tonight was rough. So much being stirred up…. Wish he was here to hold me until I fall asleep.
Very bad mental health day…. Verge of panic attack, but not sure why. I wish I had a reset button.
First meeting....
And I so very nervous. I have no idea what to expect, as I have never had to discuss my eating issues in a group setting. Honestly, I really do not want to be here, but I know I need to be, especially since today is a day one.
“The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you...”
– Juno
I will not.
April 2011
14 posts
I am very disappointed in myself. I had 3 weeks since my last day one. Tomorrow, well it is another. The worst part is admitting what ran through my head during; “I wonder how many calories one burns from vomiting.”
“Unless you have been very, very lucky, you have undoubtedly experienced events...”
– Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning (via thoughtsdetained)
BAD DAY....
Migraine + no sleep + work = Ridiculously bad day
A bubble of stress, emotions, and worries is presently lodged in my chest, and more than determined to keep me awake. I still can’t really cry. It is really funny because my dad would always yell at me when I cried growing up. He said I needed to toughen up, which would always result in me crying harder. What he didn’t understand was that I had no real control over it. It was one of...
Sometimes....
I am afraid that the whole world has forgotten about me. Seems as if I am only remembered when someone needs something. I suppose it is better than nothing?
“That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes...”
– From the movie Never Been Kissed (via quote-book)
“Don’t you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you’re not...”
– Ernest Hemingway (The Sun Also Rises)
“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the...”
– Roald Dahl (via kari-shma)
March 2011
49 posts
“The world is not the most pleasant place. Eventually your parents leave you and...”
– Queen Elizabeth II (via quote-book)